Military Families
Military families are sometimes faced with difficult situations when confronted with an illness. This section of my website is meant to embrace the men, women and children whose family members serve our great Nation. It also offers information on how to be a patient and or care giver and serve your country at the same time. Illness does not discriminate by rank. Anyone and everyone can be affected. It is important that you are surrounded with compassion and support to help you through.
Embracing Breast Cancer in the military
The Messé Family. Tom, Charnette, Gabrielle and Christian.
Our Story:
I am a Navy wife who was diagnosed with breast cancer and pregnancy in February of 2002.
I was devastated. My husband a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy was serving as a
Family Practice Doctor stationed at Naval Ambulatory Care Center in Groton, CT.
I felt very alone because I'd never met or heard of any other military wives
diagnosed with breast cancer in addition complicated with pregnancy. Although
my husband was a doctor he was also unfamiliar with my situation. We entered a
whole new world together and alone. I was also only 31 years old. Breast cancer
is said to be uncommon in young women.
During my battle I soon discovered a support network for myself. I found the Pregnant with Cancer Network, The Young Survival Coalition, Young Adults with Cancer, and Mother's Supporting Daughter's with Breast Cancer. Since my diagnosis I have been working hard to make sure that no other young woman will ever have to face breast cancer alone whether she is a military dependant, service member or a civilian. I feel strongly that information is vital for the person diagnosed and the family members involved. I am a co-contributor of The Breast Cancer Guide of Connecticut, which includes a section for military families. It is my goal to create a breast cancer guide for the military, which will include help for patients diagnosed throughout all branches of the service.
During my battle I watched my husbands strength to care for me through my treatments and conduct his duties as a Navy Doctor. We faced difficult and uncertain times. Our son was born 2 months premature because of a secondary complicated illness and my husband continued to rise to the occasion. I am grateful to the men and women who served with my husband for their compassion and support for our ordeal. The support we received was essential to my recovery.
In addition to The Breast Cancer Guide of Connecticut I have also taken my battle to the public to create awareness that no one is too young or too old for breast cancer to include The Oprah Winfrey Show, Rosie Magazine, Fighting For Our Future by Beth Murphy, Physician Magazine, the Video, ABC Link: What Every Woman has the right to know, LA Times and The New London Day chronicled a five part series of my battle with breast cancer and pregnancy.
Charnette at the Naval Medical Center in San Diego.
I have been a guest survivor speaker at the Naval Medical Center Breast Health Conference in 2003 and 2004. I have also been a guest survivor speaker and worked with The Health Promotion Department at Naval Health Care New England, Groton. In 2004 I created Beautiful in Pink in participation with Naval Health Care New England, Groton to embrace women with breast cancer and bring awareness to those not diagnosed.
What to do when an illness touches your family in the Military
First Response:
Take a deep breath. Assess the situation. Ask your doctor what you will need and what to expect. For instance what will the treatment entail? How long will the treatments last? What medical cares will you need and where will you receive your medical care? A Case Manager may be able to help with insurance authorizations and making sure that you have appointments with network providers. Ask if there are local or national agencies that can assist you and your family financially or provide other means of support.
Establish a relationship with your Health Benefits Advisor (HBA). Ask your HBA if this new diagnosis means your family member will have to enroll in the Exceptional Family Member Program. Request a meeting with your Chain of Command so that you can make them aware of your situation and your needs. Find out whether or not they can meet these needs without interrupting your active duty service. If your Command has a spouses group or Ombudsmen ask for their assistance. They can help arrange meals and assist with other special needs and daily tasks. A church family can also help meet these needs. Make an appointment with your Chaplain to assist you with your spiritual needs.
This is a perfect time to have loved your neighbor as yourself because a good neighbor is essential in these difficult times. If you are fortunate to have family nearby accept their help as well. Sometimes family members will travel a great distance to help you in your time of need. Don't be afraid to let people know what you need and what you don't need. Often someone with a compromised immune system will not be able to have anyone else in the home. This would be a perfect time to ask for leave.
Continue to breathe and assess the situation and know that you are not alone. It is possible to serve your country and the people you love. There is a history of men and women who have worn a uniform and share your experience.
National Military Care Facilities
Naval Medical Center San Diego
Breast Health Center
619 532-5828
National Naval Medical Center Bethesda
Breast Care Center of the National Capitol Area
301 295-3899
Walter Reed Army Medical Center
Comprehensive Breast Center
202 782-3416
Emblems representing the US Coast Guard, US Navy, US Airforce, US Marine Corps and US Army are the property of their respective entities. Charnette Messé and charnettemesse.com are not official affiliates or representatives of the United States Military.